- Make a "Stop and Think" SIgn
- Play "Chill" while each student traces, colors, cuts and tapes an individual Stop and Think sign to a Popsicle stick for use during the lesson.
- Have students take the sign home as their Home Connection.
- What Would You Do?
Story 1
- You and your friend are at the store. Your friend takes a candy bar off
the shelf and eats it without paying for it.
- What do you do first?
- There is a magic time between something happening around us and our
reaction to it. What makes us different from animals is that we do not
need to immediately react.
- We can teach ourselves to stop. Stopping helps us to remember what is
the right thing to do. Stopping helps us remember what is the kind thing
to do.
- What do you think it means to STOP?
Raise your hand to make a "stop" sign with arm lifted and palm flat pushing outwards;
hold a small paper stop sign with the other hand, like a traffic cop.
- What do you think it means to CHILL?
Take a deep breath and blow out.
Play the song "Chill" from the CD Something Good
- Ask thinking questions; don't try to solve the problem yet.
- What can happen to you and your friend?
If you are with someone who makes a wrong choice, the law says that you can get into
trouble too if you don't tell someone in charge and try to stop them.
- Why do you think the friend took the candy?
He or she might be hungry.
He or she might not have been not taught right from wrong.
He or she wants to show off.
He or she thinks you approve.
- What would happen if everyone took things and did not pay for them?
Story 2
- The bell rings and recess is over. Your friend stays on the playground
and does not line up.
- What do you do first?
Lead the children in using the "stop" and "think" signs.
- How long does it take to stop and think?
As fast as 2 seconds!
- Stopping and chilling does not take a long time.
You might act out stopping in slow motion to show a humorous
way of stopping, and then make a big yawn and lean against the
board, pretending to take a nap.
- How fast do you think we could stop and chill on the playground?
- Let's pretend we are on the playground and the bell just rang.
- Let's practice stopping and chilling in two seconds.
Ask thinking questions; don't try to solve the problem yet.
- What can happen to you if you decide to stay and play with your
friend?
- What are some reasons your friend might not have come when the bell
rang?
He or she did not hear the bell.
He or she did not get a turn on favorite equipment.
He or she feels sad and wants to be alone.
He or she is hurt and needs help.
He or she wants to not obey.
- Do we know why your friend is late for the bell?
- Could it be for a good reason?
Story 3
- You and your friend are playing at recess. Another friend wants t play. Your friend says no.
- What do you do first?
Lead the children in using the "Stop" and "Think" signs.
Ask thinking questions; don't try to solve the problem yet.
- What can happen if you choose not to include the new friend?
- Why might your friend not want to include him or her?
- How would you feel if you were not included in a play group?
- Introduce I STOP'D
Use the PowerPoint provided with this lesson.
Note: When the presentation is opened in PowerPoint Normal Mode, notice the
accompanying notes. Please do not read these notes to students. There is basic
information and more advanced information accompanying each slide. The teacher may
choose the depth of training that is appropriate for the students. Use your own "voice" and
examples when using the presentation.
Talking Points:
- After we have thought about the reasons for the problem, it is time to think about a solution.
- The funny word I STOP'D helps us remember how we can make a smart choice.
- It is an acronym. Each letter in the word stands for the first letter of another word. It is a tool
people use to help them remember something important like what to do when we STOP and
THINK!
- Another acronyms is PTA (Parent Teacher Association).
Optional Review Questions:
- What do you remember about Alexander and his bugs?
- What were some of the things that Alexander did when he had
bugs?
- He had lots of choices to make.
- I STOP'D helps us stop and make smart choices when we have
bugs to solve by ourselves.
References and additional ideas.
The book Getting to Yes emphasizes four elements of decision making in the
context of mediation and negotiation. They are incorporated into the acronym I
STOP'D in their original form:
- Separate the people from the problem.
- Focus on interests, not positions.
- Invent options for mutual gain.
- Insist on using objective criteria.
Subsequent references will appear as (Fisher, page number).
Fisher, R., Ury, W., & Patton, B. (1991). Getting to yes: Negotiating agreement without giving in. Boston:
Houghton Mifflin. pp. 15-81.
The book, Creating the Peaceable School: A Comprehensive Program for Teaching Conflict Resolution, has
taken the principles in Getting to Yes and transformed them into a complete year-long school curriculum that
addresses each element of the Prevention Dimensions acronym I STOP'D in exhaustive detail. Please refer to
this publication for comprehensive lessons. This PowerPoint is meant to be an overview. Subsequent references
will appear as (Bodine, page number).
Bodine, Richard J., Donna K. Crawford, and Fred Schrumpf. Creating the Peaceable School: a Comprehensive
Program for Teaching Conflict Resolution. Champaign, IL: Research Press, 2002
Talking Points:
- Options are all the things we can think of that we could choose to do.
- When we think of these options, it is called "brainstorming."
- Making a choice can happen very, very fast in our head, like when we choose what to wear in
the morning.
- We can take hours and hours if it is a very important decision that parents must make -- like
buying a house.
Explore Options:
- Let the class choose one of the previous three stories to focus on.
- Explore options in a quick, casual, manner (they will learn to do longer, group brainstorming
sessions in Lesson 5).
- Ask yourself, "What would a builder do?"
- This entire process should take the class less than five minutes to talk through together, because
the choices they are making are really 10-second decisions.
Advanced Discussion:
Brainstorming options can go a lot faster when we are older if we make "kindergarten decisions" now
We can decide we won't do things that we know will hurt us.
Ask:
- What are some things we can decide right now we will never do?
- So if you are with a friend who steals a candy or offers you alcohol, do you need to make a list of options and
try to decide what to do?
Share:
After the children share their commitments, share with them your experience with making "kindergarten decisions"
and how your life has been better because of those decisions you made as a young child.
Reference:
Fisher, Roger, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving in. Boston:
Houghton Mifflin, 1991," pp. 56-80.
Ask:
Which plan do you want to try first?
Ask:
What do we do then? Do it!
Optional:
Use the duplicate slides to explore another problem.
- Ordering the I STOP'D Process
Use the large class-sized I STOP'D word strips (staring on page 54), or make enough
small copies for each pair of students to have a set to cut out and practice putting in order
on their own. Consider timing students, using them as memory prompts in larger groups,
or any other simple game.
Listen to a song such as "Take a Stand" from the CD Take a Stand; "My Friend," "I'll
Be Nice," or "Be a Builder" from the CD Be a Builder; or "Friendship Song" from the CD
Something Good.
- Take Home Stop Sign
Make a copy of the Home Connection for each student. Send the Home Connection
paper home with each student and instruct students to share the information with their
families. Please have students check either the "Enjoy at home" or "Please return" box.
This longer story could be used in place of the shorter scenarios in the
accompanying PowerPoint presentation.
Molly and Brenda Breaker
Molly was six years old. Molly had a favorite friend, Brenda Breaker. Molly
spent most of her time with Brenda Breaker. Poor Molly found it very hard
to STOP and THINK when she was with Brenda Breaker!
The first time I met Molly was the first week of school. Brenda Breaker
dared Molly to race down the hallway to get to the swings first.
Molly just ran as fast as she could by pushing through her classmates and
knocking down other kids!
Molly's friend Brenda Breaker told her everyone would think it was funny to
play a joke and pull out her neighbor's chair so she fell on the floor.
During art time, Brenda Breaker dared Molly to try to throw her crumpled
scrap paper into the garbage can. She missed and left the paper all over
the floor.
Brenda Breaker needed some scissors. She told
Molly to take Tiffany's or Andrew's scissors while they
were getting their drink after lunch.
Guess what? Molly took the scissors! When Allen told
on Molly, she kicked him! Oh, no! Poor, poor Molly!
She always did what Brenda Breaker told her to do.
Another Ending: Discuss an alternative ending to "Molly and Brenda Breaker."
Game - Three in a Row
Students tape the Friendship Three in a Row grid to the corner of their desk
(see page 57). When they do an activity they can share it with the class and
cross off the corresponding square. Reward those who get three in a row or a
blackout.
Reading
Have your students use the I STOP'D approach when they come across a conflict in any of the
books you read as a class. Share a book from your classroom library that has a conflict in it.
- Choose a story book.
- Read half the book.
- Identify the setting (where it happens).
- Name the character who is having a problem.
- Name the problem.
- STOP and THINK about what could be win-win about the problem.
- Brainstorm out loud possible solutions to the problem.
- Tell which solution you think the character should use.
- Draw a picture that shows your solution to the problem.
- Finish reading the story.
- Did your solution match what really happened? Which solution did you like better?