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Dating Behaviors and Refusal Skills

Main Core Tie

Adult Roles And Responsibilities
Strand 3 Standard 2

Additional Core Ties

Adult Roles and Financial Literacy
Strand 5 Standard 2




Students will learn about the functions and purposes of responsible dating including dating behaviors, values, responsibilities and refusal skills.


Additional Resources:

Instructional Procedures

Use the vocabulary worksheet (pdf).

Primary Vocabulary:

  • Value
  • Responsibilities
  • Refusal Skills

At the beginning of class, give each student one M&M. Tell them that they may eat it now, but it will be better if they do not eat it now, but rather wait until the end of class. Continue lesson as suggested below, giving more candies to those who choose not to eat their candies until later. Do not give any to those who at their candy at first. Increase quantity and quality of candy, periodically as the class moves on. Watch for reaction of students to understand the correlation of this learning activity and waiting until marriage for sex. Discuss with students.

Content Outline, Activities and Teaching Strategies
(All options do not necessarily need to be taught. Select ones to cover standards and objectives and according to your district policies.)

Option 1: Dating Values Discussion
Follow the outline on the Dating Values and Refusal Skills lecture guide (pdf) and Dating Values PowerPoint.

Option 2: You Are the Parent
Discuss how parents feel about dating situations, using the case studies included in this lesson. Use the Dating Values PowerPoint and You Are the Parent information sheet (pdf).

Option 3: Sexual Responsibility Case Studies
Discuss the case studies (pdf) as a class. Ask "What values are reflected by the behavior in each case?

Option 4: Identifying Dating Sexuality Values
Have the students complete the Identifying Dating Sexuality Values Worksheet (pdf). Then read each statement aloud and have students get up and walk to whichever side of the room they identify with, Agree or Disagree or Not Sure. Ask, "Which was easier, writing your answer, or actually standing up and publicly affiliating with them? Why?"

Option 5: Video clip
Play the video clip or listen to the song, "I Can‟t Say No" from Oklahoma. Ask, "What do you think of her song? How are some of the ways she could learn to say "No?‟ Do you think her "inability" to say "no‟ is helping her? What ways could it get her into trouble? What are some skills that she might need to learn in order to be safer?"

Option 6: How to Say No
Review How to Say No information sheet (pdf) with students, then have them role play the various ways of saying "no" to someone who suggests inappropriate sexual activities.

Option 7: Just Say No
Use the Just Say No worksheet (pdf) to review the various ways to tell a person "no". You might want to have the students role play the various refusal skills suggested in this option.

Option 8: Parent Interview
Have students complete the Parent Interview (pdf) to discover exactly what parents think and why, as they make their own dating rules.

Option 9: Refusal Skills Pressure Lines
Using the Refusal Skills Pressure Lines activity sheet (pdf) students will take turns coming up with responses or comebacks to each of the lines listed. Teacher may give clues. Or, students may get in groups of 2-4 and write down conversation/interaction of how conversation would go. Perform these skits together in class and discuss. Or, divide students into groups of 2. Have Student A try to convince Student B to do some forbidden activity. Student B must practice each different type of refusal skill and then report back how it went and how it felt.

Option 10: Dating Rules, Safe Dating Rules, My Dating Rules
Use the Dating Rules Performance Objective worksheet (pdf). This is a possible state performance objective assignment. Students should make a list of "DATING RULES" as seen through their parents' eyes. Then turn in copy of My Dating Rules (pdf).

Students discuss and write reasons and rebuttals to situations listed in Safe Dating Rules worksheet (pdf).

Write "Saying NO to Sex before marriage means Saying YES to ____________________." On a poster or white board. Have students brainstorm and come up with as many positive ideas as they can and write them on the poster or board. (Suggested answers are Life, Happiness, Freedom from guilt, std, pregnancy, reputation, Love, self respect, trust, enjoy being a teenager, life goals, etc.)

Some of the rules we have discussed can be enforced by the parent. Other rules must be handled by the teenager. A responsible teenager will follow the rules and protect him/herself. Each time you go on a date, you are associating with another person that is loved very much by his/her parents. They are trusting you with a son or daughter they have spent years teaching and caring for. They have made a big investment in their teenager, and you have a big responsibility to return him/her safe and unharmed.

Peer pressure is a very powerful force used to persuade someone to do something he/she may not want to do. If you are aware of peer pressure and are familiar with the steps of refusal skills, you will be more able to resist the effects of peer pressure.

Created: 07/07/2011
Updated: 02/05/2018