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Mate Selection

Main Core Tie

Adult Roles And Responsibilities
Strand 4 Standard 1

Additional Core Ties

Adult Roles and Financial Literacy
Strand 6 Standard 1




Students will understand the importance of the mate selection process.


Additional Resource:

Fannies Dream, written by Caralyn and Mark Beuhner ISBN: 978-0142500606

Instructional Procedures

Use the Vocabulary Worksheet and Key (pdf).

Primary Vocabulary

  • Mate
  • Theory of Propinquity
  • Exchange
  • Theory
  • Complimentary Needs Theory
  • Happy Collision
  • Filter Theory
  • Economic Matters
  • In-laws

Pass around a bowl that has a variety of different candies to the class. All of the candies should have a tag on them that says: Choose Wisely: This decision could impact your life more than any other. Ask the students the following questions:

  • Why did you pick that candy?
  • Does that candy have something to offer you that the others didn't?
  • What do you have in common with your candy?
  • What is different between you and the candy?
  • Can you imagine yourself living without the candy?
  • Could you be happy if another candy took it's place?

Explain that these are just a few of the questions we should ask ourselves about the people we date when we are looking for a potential marriage partner.

Supplies needed:

  • Bowl
  • Variety of different candies
  • Tags that say: Choose Wisely: This decision could impact your life more than any other.

Content Outline, Activities and Teaching Strategies
(All options do not necessarily need to be taught. Select ones to cover standards and objectives and according to your district policies.)

Option 1: Mate Selection PowerPoint Presentation
Show Mate Selection PowerPoint. Using Mate Selection Teacher Notes (pdf) have students take notes on Mate Selection worksheet (pdf).

Option 2: Pretend Marriage
Have students fill in the Pretend Marriage Scenario (pdf) of a day in the life of their marriage.

Option 3: Why People Get Married
Discuss the reasons people commonly get married. Use the Why People Get Married Teacher Notes (pdf). Have students take notes on the student guide (pdf).

Option 4: Qualities I Want in a Mate
Using the Choosing a Mate by Making a List (pdf) have students list qualities they want in a mate. Discuss materials found in teacher information. Use the Qualities I Want in a Mate Teacher Notes (pdf).

Option 5: Get to Know Your Future Mate
Have students read the Get to Know Your Future Mate Reading Material (pdf) and the Get to Know Your Future Mate Activity (pdf) and then explain their point of view from each section.

Option 6: Qualities I'm Taking to a Marriage
Using the Qualities I Am Taking to a Marriage worksheet (pdf) have students write a paper explaining characteristics they desire a future mate to have as well as identify qualities they will take into a marriage.

Option 7: Marital Risks
Using the teacher information (pdf) discuss with students marital risks.

Option 8: Engagement Case Study
Have students complete the case study (pdf). After they have complete in discuss with the class.

Option 9: Forced Choice Marriage Traits
From the Forced Choice handout (pdf) cut the character traits listed on the dotted lines. Have students arrange them in order of importance to them, placing the most important trait at the top of your list and the least important at the bottom of their list. When you they have decided on a final order, have them tape their list together or glue the strips on another piece of paper. Students will rank various traits in the order of importance in a future mate.

Read the book or watch the video, Fannies Dream. Discuss what she was looking for in a mate. The mate selection process is important and should be carefully made. The engagement is a further time of testing for compatibility. If both of these steps are carefully completed, marital adjustments and happiness are much easier to achieve.

Created: 07/19/2011
Updated: 02/05/2018