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Givin' It, Takin' It, and Workin' It Out

Summary

In this lesson students will practice assertive communication, problem solving, and conflict management skills.


Materials


Intended Learning Outcomes

Practice assertive communication, problem solving, and conflict management skills.


Instructional Procedures

Lesson at a Glance

  1. Complete the group activity and discussion on conflict.
  2. Introduce "Givin' It, Takin' It, and Workin' It Out" conflict management strategies.
  3. Students role play, using the skills learned in this lesson.

New Vocabulary

  • conflict
  • peaceably

Introduction (Setting Focus)

  1. Divide the class into small groups. Write the word "conflict" on the board. Have each group make a chart listing all the words that come to mind when they think of the word conflict. After the students have completed their charts, have them share their ideas with the class and then complete a similar chart on the board. Compare the different ideas and discuss the following:
    1. How many responses were negative?
    2. How many responses were positive?
    3. Is conflict always negative?
    4. When is it considered negative?
    5. When is conflict good? (Good conflict is nonviolent, meets the needs of those involved, and improves the relationship between the two people.)
  2. Explain that conflict is a natural and essential part of life. It occurs whenever people are living, working, and playing together. Conflict can be between just two people or involve an entire nation. It can range from a small disagreement to a world war. It isn't possible or even desirable to get rid of all conflict in our lives. However, we can learn to understand it and deal with it in a positive way. Conflict isn't always bad. When conflict is handled effectively, it can be an opportunity to learn and grow. It's our response to conflict that makes it constructive or destructive.
  3. Explain that there are a variety of ways to respond to conflict that are nonviolent; i.e., avoiding the conflict, compromising, giving in, making distractions, sharing the subject, seeking the help of others, or working together, talking it out to find a solution that satisfies both people. There are times when we need to confront others and let them know how we feel, times when we need to walk away, and times when others may confront us. Conflict doesn't have to result in a negative outcome. We can learn to work things out peacefully.
  4. Explain that "Givin' It, Takin' It, and Workin' It Out" are some skills that will help the students resolve conflict in a constructive manner.

Body (Strategies/Activities)

Introduce the "Givin' It, Takin' It, and Workin' It Out" conflict management skills with the students. Address each skill separately and then demonstrate how they can be used together.

Givin' It

Find a good time and place to talk. Stay calm.

  1. Ask the person if you can talk to him or her.
  2. Say something positive, if you can.
  3. Tell the person what you need from him or her. (I feel______________ when_________________ because______________ .)
  4. Tell the person what you need from him or her. (I would like _________________________ .)
  5. Ask the person if he or she understands and how he/she feels about it. (Be ready to take it, and work it out.)
  6. Thank the person for listening, if possible.

Tips for "Givin' It"

  1. Find a good time and place to talk.
  2. Let the person know how you feel and what you want without going on the attack (use "I messages").
  3. Avoid communication roadblocks (blaming, name calling, and put-downs).
  4. If you realize you've made a mistake, admit it.

Takin' It

Find a good time and place to talk. Stay calm.

  1. Listen to what the other person has to say. Put yourself in his or her shoes.
  2. Ask for clarification if you don't understand or need more information.
  3. Ask what the person wants you to do.
  4. Tell the person you understand and agree/apologize, or ask if you can tell your side. (Be ready to give it and work it out.)

Tips for Takin' It

  1. Listen without interrupting (active listening, not reactive).
  2. Pay attention to feelings.
  3. If you made a mistake, admit it.
  4. Avoid communication roadblocks (blaming, name calling, and put-downs).

Workin' It Out

Find a good time and place to talk. Stay calm.

  1. Find a good time and place to talk.
  2. Listen to each other (active listening and "I" statements).
  3. Listen to all ideas. Don't reject or make fun of any idea right away.
  4. Be willing to compromise.
  5. Choose a solution that works for both of you.
  6. It's okay to peaceably disagree.

Closure (Wrap-Up and Extension)

  1. Review the conflict management skills with the class. Next, have the students give examples of situations that might lead to conflict and list them on the board. Then divide the class into groups of three and have them role play the situation. Using the "Givin' It, Takin' It, and Workin' It Out" skills, the third person acts as an observer, and provides assistance and feedback when necessary. In the beginning, it might be helpful for the students to write down what they are going to say before they start the role play. After each group presents their skit to the class, review the following:
    1. What was the problem?
    2. What did they do to solve it?
    3. Did it help?
    4. What are other positive solutions?
  2. Conclude by telling the students that when people with problems get together, they can listen to each other, treat others with courtesy and respect, avoid blaming and name calling, attack the problem and not the person, and find a solution together. They can work to find a resolution they both like.


Created: 12/21/2009
Updated: 01/24/2020
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